Senator Harkin, Luke Swarthout, I love you both

Senator Harkin is becoming my hero, and so is Luke Swarthout. Right now, Harkin said this about the for profits. Here's how he sees it (I am ripping this nice diagram from a Tweet sent out by @EducationSector): "The industry money trail according to Harkin: Taxpayers --> Poor Students --> For-Profit Colleges --> Shareholders.

Yup. That sums it up. Thanks, Sen. Harkin and Luke!

Senator Burr's comment about students' choice is a joke

Senator Burr recently claimed that he's worried about which colleges will receive federal student loans. He contends it will limit the student's 'choices,' and noted that it would hurt military members. Are you friggin' kidding me? I mean, I am trying not to have a HEART ATTACK over this bullshit. Yes, I said bullshit. Senator Burr, you are FULL OF BULLSHIT. How much money have you received from the for profits, sir? Tell us.

I mean, is this the Twilight Zone?

Have these people gone crazy? Rallying for the for-profits? Are they being paid?

This rally put on by students who are supporting for-profits proves that the world is truly topsy-turvy, and not in some delightful way.

I have one word for this event: ludicrous. 

You don't say? The President tells the Arizona Daily Wildcat that higher education needs to be affordable

Pres. Obama recently told the Arizona Daily Wildcat that higher education needs to be more affordable. Huh. Wow. You don't say? What about those of us, Mr. President, who are currently drowning in student loan debt? Did you know that we can't buy homes? Or perhaps you are aware that we can't have families? Are you also aware that we can't do a lot of productive things that would help the economy?

Here it goes again: What about us? I'm tired of asking, Mr. President. Very tired of asking. I don't suppose you'd get your VeePee to come out and yell at me and say, "stop yer whinin'!" God forbid, Mr. President. God forbid.

Jesse Jackson Has Aligned Himself With The For-Profits, And We Still Lack An FDR

Great. Jesse Jackson is aligning himself with the for-profits, and the Congressional Black Caucus is being lured in by the for-profits, too. (Luckily, the NAACP has not taken a stand like Jackson's). It's clear that the money is being thrown at them relentlessly.

On top of that, any Democrat is for sale when it comes to being bought off by this insidious industry. This industry should be treated like the tobacco industry, and that's what I dream of happening some day. However, if none of these people have the courage to take a stand and fight for student debtors, that will never happen ,will it? There you have it. Great day, right? Great news. What a friggin' joke. What a cruel, cruel joke. I doubt the student debtors are laughing about this news. Does anyone give a damned about the student borrowers?

To make matters worse, you have Michelle Singletary at the WP. Oh, yeah, she's a so-called expert on this topic. She's calling for an increase in Pell Grants. I call that a huge conflict of interest. So . . . you have the ads, the political contributions, the pay-offs to the interest groups, and this whole sorry for-profit mess is being paid for on the backs of taxpayers and students who are forced to borrow for their education.

Folks, today, is grim. I have mentioned many times that I'd like to run for political office so that I can be a public servant and be of service to the American people. But I fear that that isn't what this is about anymore. It's about being a shill, and pretending to care about your constituents at the same time. That's not an easy thing to juggle, I'll hand it to these politicians. Some may even accuse me of being entirely naive, and will let me know that politics has always been a mess like this . . . But I beg to disagree. We had statesmen like FDR in the past. He implemented one of the boldest programs ever, and it helped millions of people in the U.S. I realize that was a different era, but why can't we see that again? Why must we accept this sorry state of affairs? Why can't we have politicians with values and politicians who give a damned about the American people and not the lobbyists?

Shilling Me Softly Calls Out The Media And Ted Brassfield

Who hasn't heard of Ted Brassfield by now? He's being talked about by those of us who are trying to raise awareness about the student lending crisis. I wrote about him a few days ago (see my remarks here).

Schilling Me Softly argues that Mr. Brassfield does not represent those of us who are part of the indentured educated class, and provides interesting analysis about it in a piece entitled, "Ted Brassfield is an 'Everyman' - If 'Everyman' is Defined as 'Douche." The language is a wee-bit strong for my taste, but I like the concluding remarks in this post. Now that Mr. Brassfield is enjoying his 15-minutes of fame and being interviewed as an "instapundit," the "real issue is overshadowed." How convenient, right? It reminds of the way I was handled recently in an interview that was not aired. Oh, well, I'll keep on tryin' . . . that's why I'm doing this publicly. If you met me on the street, I'd be the same person who's writing this out on Education Matters, Tweets often, or appears on Facebook to try and help out student debtors. I am the real deal, because I refuse to hide behind an online persona. It keeps me honest, unlike some of my nasty posters.

The Flexible Boundaries of Interpretation, Power, and Public Discourse: Readers Respond To Michel Martin's Note To Me

Michel Martin recently told me why things went so poorly on her show a few weeks ago (you can read her response here). Many of your were not pleased by her tone and the things she mentioned in that follow-up note.

Let's hear what you had to say:

"I'm not extremely familiar with Ms. Martin's work but this episode would make me hesitant to speak to her on air. I am glad she took the time to send you a cordial explanation, but the poor research on the part of her staff is amazing. Also I find her pointed "dealing with it internally" remarks and her subtle hints that perhaps you are not an expert in your field a bit off-putting. A true leader would take responsibility for what happens on her watch. Just my thoughts. Keep trying Cryn." - Anonymous

"Ms. Martin seemed to think that because you are current in your student loans that there is no problem. Did she stop to think that perhaps you can keep current because you had to leave the country in order to make that happen? Sounds kind ...of like a huge problem to me. There was also an implied slam about your husband paying the bills as if you neither have the capacity nor will to do anything but lie on the couch eating bon bons. Did they do any research on you at all? BTW there is nothing wrong with one partner handling the bills in a marriage. I pay all the bills in ours because my partner is disinclined to deal with the paperwork and busy. I don't mind either way. I don't think I will ever tune in to her again." - Barbara Heredia 


"So, wait . . . she spent the interview confronting you about your personal responsibility for the student loan issues, then BLAMED HER STAFF for the miscommunication? I definitely want to cut her the break she wouldn't give to you at the time, but it is a little funny." -Liz

"NPR should give you another interview. That is, if NPR cares anything about human rights issues, and the growing number of lifetime Student Debtors. I believe that the largest Student Loan debts come from the law grads who cannot find work, and are now being doubly punished by the banks." -Anonymous

Let's celebrate: Larry Summers is leaving the White House!

This just in, Larry Summers is leaving the White House. I was just writing about the issue of Obama's dismal economic team earlier today, too, and Dr. Summers was on my mind. This news is superb. Let him go back to Harvard and cause trouble there.

Dreaming about lovely 'moral hazards,' Dr. Summers?

Giving Credit Where Credit Is Due: Ms. Martin Clarifies What Happened On Her Show

Many of you are aware that I had a scheduled interview with Michel Martin on Tell Me More. Since I am an advocate for student loan debtors nationwide, I was under the impression that she was planning to interview me as an expert. It turns out, however, that the conversation did not go as I had expected, and I was quite disappointed by the outcome as well baffled by Ms. Martin's treatment of me as a guest. In any event, Ms. Martin just posted a nice explanation as to why things went the way they did on her show that day. She wrote:

Cryn -

We always regret it when a guest feels he or she has a poor experience on our program. We hate for that to happen. We also regret it when we are forced to spike an interview. Both things happened in your case and I feel badly about it.

The problem is that there was a miscommunication  between our producers, myself and you about what I had requested and understood about the nature of your participation and your understanding of why you had been booked. It was my desire to interview individuals about their personal experiences with excessive student debt. Your interview was to follow a conversation about the larger issue of student debt, that described just how large the student debt burden has become. You evidently believed you were to speak as an expert or advocate and without any mention of your personal experiences. That's perfectly reasonable but clearly a conflict of intention. It was not what I expected, nor what I had planned for. If we had planned to utilize you as an expert, we would have done far more due diligence about your expertise. Obviously, we could not do that once the interview had begun, especially as you are overseas and we had other interviews scheduled that day. We decided not to use the interview because we felt that the to-ing and fro-ing over your refusal to discuss your own personal story would not be interesting for our listeners or reflect well on the conversation, especially when you disclosed that you don't handle your own finances but leave that to your spouse. I agree that the issue of student debt is an important one and deserves more attention. and as we said, we had one such interview already. But, to be clear, you were not the right guest for that particular program on that particular day and I am sorry we wasted your time.

We have dealt with this issue internally and I hope we have all learned from your unfortunate experience.

Regards,

Michel Martin
Host, NPR's Tell Me More 

Let me say publicly to you, Ms. Martin, that I am appreciative of the fact that you took the time to explain why things went the way they did, and I sincerely hope that when our paths cross again (and I hope they do), our conversation about this issue will be much different. While I respect Mr. Kantrowitz's position on things, he is not the only expert on this matter.

Scrutinizing Sallie Mae Through A Regulatory Lens

I got my boxing gloves on! That means I'll fight fair . . . naturally . . .

Since I have decided to dedicate my life's work to researching and solving the student lending crisis, as well as helping the indentured educated class, I'd do anything to serve you as a public servant. That's why I would like to be a part of this new agency, so that I could assist in scrutinizing Sallie Mae and other student lenders within the context of potential regulation violations. Indeed, much of my work has been devoted to discussing the way in which these lenders have defrauded borrowers.

Let's make Uncle Sam's arms strong again, so he can actually help U.S. citizens.

NYT: 'Frustration and Fear Greet Obama,' plus Ted Brassfield speaks

It sounds like an indentured educated citizen, Ted Brassfield, was able to express a lot of our concerns to President Obama during a televised CNBC town-hall meeting this past Monday. As the NYT reported, somewhat in passing, "a 30-year-old law school graduate told Mr. Obama that he had hoped to pursue a career in public service — like the president — but complained that he could barely pay the interest on his student loans, let alone think of getting married or starting a family.

The graduate student continued, "'I was really inspired by you and your campaign and the message you brought, and that inspiration is dying away,' he said, adding, '"And I really want to know, is the American dream dead for me?'"

I just spoke to a young professional the other night about the American dream, or perhaps the disintegration thereof. Although one of my readers follows everything I write about the student lending crisis, this indentured educated citizen claims he is in denial. He kept asking me, "what about the American dream? Is it over?" (If you're interested in my answer, let me know!)

As for President Obama, here's what I think he needs to do. For starters, he needs to get rid of his economic advisors who keep talking  to him about the so-called moral hazard issue when it comes to helping us in a dramatic way. He also needs to think about some dramatic and bold ways to help change the direction of this country - we all know it's going downhill, and that means it's time for some dramatic initiatives. The tepid ones haven't done the trick. Give bolder, hotter ones a chance. I mean, if they fail, who cares? At least you tried to open the faucet for real change, right? That's what your campaign was all about.

So I implore you, Mr. Obama, to get rid of these people in your administration. Or in the very least have a talk with those of us who are advocating for the indentured educated class (I'm eager to speak to Roberto Rodriguez, because Lord knows, we've sent him, among others, enough letters, for some sort of response. I won't accept the excuse that the President is bogged down with 'so many things.' That's why he has experts like Mr. Rodriguez to respond to the crisis of higher education. Mr. Rodriguez is failing to do his job well).

A fresh perspective about the student lending crisis and what's happening to education people outside the beltway could really help you . . . that's if you ask me, a nationwide advocate for student loan debtors. Naturally, the loud noises from the belching lobbyists on those ideological highways can muffle the cries of desperation that even I can hear loud and clear on this tiny peninsula in Asia. However, my ears are open to the cries of truth, and I'm not in political office, something which has clearly forced you to compromise your values.

Universities/Colleges - they be all a bunch o' sell outs

Exhibit A

Taking her musical talent elsewhere - an indentured educated servant discusses student loans, her love for music, and what life is like in Ireland

Diana McLaughlin is not ashamed to discuss her student loan debt story publicly. While I understand why many of my readers wish to remain anonymous (they have their reasons, and I respect that), I think we should all begin to think about ways in which we can overcome shame and guilt. Together we can argue that this problem is not merely about personal responsibility, but represents a larger systemic crisis. So I am calling on all of you to carefully consider becoming more public about the burden of debt you and your family (and in some cases, friends) are carrying. After all, those who have defrauded us are out their publicly, and they are the problem! We don't wish to be the problem, but rather the solution.

As for Diana, she has left her country, too. Much like me, she realized there were better opportunities in another country, and so she made the bold decision to leave. Let's hear what she has to say about her own life as an indentured educated student. You'll see that it doesn't dominate every aspect of her life, and that's something important to share.

CCJ: Tell us a little about yourself. Where did you go to school? Are you the first to graduate from school? If not, what about your parents/siblings? Moreover, what did you study?

DM: I grew up in a small town in western Maryland. I began studying music at the age of seven with piano lessons, followed by classical voice at age eleven. I had wonderful teachers who encouraged me to pursue music due to my talent. I won various competitions in classical voice including the Southeast regional NATS (National Association for Teachers of Singing) for classical voice at the age of seventeen and was awarded a Maryland Distinguished Scholar of the Arts as well (which entitled me to a $12,000 scholarship if I chose to go to college in Maryland, which I did not do). I chose instead to attend The Catholic University of America, a small private college in Washington, DC due to my voice teacher's relationship with the teacher that I studied with there.

CCJ: Yes, I am quite familiar with CUA's music program. Before I decided to pursue history with the intention of becoming a professor in that field, I was a harp and piano major. I too was accepted into CUA's music program as an undergraduate. However, I didn't attend and went to the University of Kansas instead. Years later when I worked for W.W. Norton & Company, I had the privilege of visiting your campus on a number of occasions for work. I especially enjoyed paying visits to the professors in the Music Department. They are outstanding people and committed teachers - it was clear to me. 

Yes. Moreover, musicians like to pass on their students to someone they trust and I didn't want to end up with a teacher I didn't know. Being from a small town, I still felt safe at Catholic. As a small school, I didn't feel as though I would be lost there in a sea of other musicians. I also appreciated the small class sizes and relationships I was able to build with the professors there. It was important to me to be able to communicate with my teachers and build relationships with them. I also knew that in a smaller school, as a singer, I would have more opportunities! 

I got to sing lead roles in six operas in my time at CUA, something that would have never happened in a bigger school. Experience is what counts for professional musicians. I got my bachelor's degree from Catholic and remember feeling as though I didn't really know where to turn next. Opera singers usually don't start getting work until they are much older than twenty-three. So, I decided to stay on and do my master's, so that at least then I would be able to get a job (or so I thought). Neither of my parents had gone to college, and I grew up with "You are GOING to College" said to me every other day. I was the first person to get a bachelor's degree in my family and I am the only one with a master's. My sister has an associate's degree in Radiography. This degree probably cost less than a semester's worth of tuition at my school. 

CCJ: Why did you pursue the degree you pursued?  

DM: At one point I really loved performing. I loved getting lost in my music, because it seemed to be the only thing that made me happy at one point. 

CCJ: Plus, you were talented and I'm sure that inspired you to continue studying music. It sounds like a lot of teachers believed in your abilities, and the fact that you won some awards is a testament to that fact, too.

Yes. 

But that all changed during college, and I think I am finally getting back to that happy place now that I am out of academia and the competition of it all. I also thought 'well, this is what I am good at so why shouldn't I do it?' I was warned I would be broke for the rest of my life and a lot of people from my small town thought I was a fool. It didn't help that I was poorly treated in high school basically for being talented and that made me just want to get out. Besides, I just couldn't imagine studying anything else. I had spent so much time of my life studying music (piano and voice) that I could not understand giving it up. Even now.  .  . I could never walk away. . . it's part of who I am. 

CCJ: Well, it's quite understandable that you'd wish to pursue degrees in music. You spent years of your life pursuing a career related to music. I remember spending hours and hour practicing piano and harp for concerts and so forth. In a way, you began your career at the age of seven. Plus, people treat music majors poorly, and the so-called realists claim these degrees are a waste of time. Well, I have news for them, this realm matters, and thankfully you've found a little corner in this world that truly recognizes and values music in everyday life. Moreover, I won't even go into the economic or cultural aspects of why we desperately need people in the arts.

DM: Yes. It seemed like the next natural step to take.

CCJ: What was the process of borrowing loans like for you? Did you go to a Financial Aid Office on your campus? If so, what was it like? I'm interested in discussing transparency, and think it's important to note schools who are either honest or dishonest when it comes to these things. Please elaborate about your own borrowing experience. 

DM: We were clueless. We had no idea! My mother kept bothering me to go to the Financial Aid Office but I remember saying, 'what are they going to do? They are of no help.' In fact I hated dealing with the administration at the school because I oftentimes wouldn't get a straight answer. My mother kept saying over and over 'I just don't understand this stuff, your daddy and I never went to college, we are clueless.' 

My parents took out the private loans for my first two years at CUA, which was already a whopping $40,000. Then, when I was a sophomore, I was asked to take out the rest. While I consider my family to be middle class, they still made too much for me to benefit from federal help. I was only able to receive small federal subsidized and unsubsidized loans. The rest was private and we were instructed to do it through good ol' 'Sallie Mae.' I remember applying for my first loan my junior year. That was a $20,000 loan. At the time, I thought NOTHING of it. What is going to get me through this next year was all I could really think of. Every once in a while my conscience would catch up with me and I would start to worry about the future. My voice teacher always said things like this:

- 'They can't take what you don't have;' 

- 'You don't even have to worry about that yet;' or

- 'You will get a job, you will have a master's degree!" 

Maybe that was true in the past, but it is no longer true. I don't know why I trusted my teacher so much, but I always did. The person, who handled my voice and future, surely could give me loan advice!  

CCJ: I think the point you just made is a critical one. I don't think your teachers were saying these things to be malicious, and I'm sure you'd agree. However, it demonstrates how oblivious these academicians are when it comes to the rising cost of tuition. I recall when my advisor at Brown told me I'd maybe have to take out a loan in my 6th year for my Ph.D. That's if I couldn't receive outside funding. At this point, Brown was undergoing dramatic funding changes, and the entire graduate community on campus was in an uproar. For instance, when I entered Brown there was an implicit guarantee of funding through six years of your work, but that all changed. I remember being aghast when my own advisor was telling me I'd have to perhaps take out loans. I thought immediately, 'hell no!' So, you see, the school entices you in, offers your grants, and then pulls the carpet from under your feet. An advisor should not be telling a graduate student that they will have to take out a whopping $50,000 for the last year of their graduate work, especially when they are supposedly fully aware that the job market is dismal. In my view that's immoral. Instead, I think she could have just been more honest and said, 'look, Cryn, if you can't get funding for your final year here, I'd quit. I wouldn't risk taking out that type of loan.' But clearly she is unaware, and I think that's one of the problems, of what it's like to try and get a job in academia at this point. (Incidentally, I interviewed Claudia Dreifus recently and we discussed the ins and outs of what's wrong with the university system today, and I encourage all of you to read that interview with her and buy the book she just wrote with her co-partner Andrew Hacker. It provides deeper insights into these sorts of problems). 

But I digress. Please continue, Diana. 

DM: My mother co-signed all of my private loans because I would have never gotten them on my own. Plus it was so easy. All we had to do was go online and fill out a form. A few months later I got a check. I thought it was great. Basically, I was undereducated [about loans] and was also told by my superiors that it was nothing to be concerned with. I now realize they were desperate to keep people in the music school. In addition, CUA has been running a 99% acceptance rate as of late! That would have been unheard of nearly 15 years ago. The facility is in trouble. Buildings are crumbling and moldy . . . I even felt very ill with a mold allergy at one point and was unable to sing due to the conditions in the dorms. It's pretty desperate for the music school especially because the way Catholic operates is that everyone pays tuition and each school gets a certain percentage based on how many people are enrolled in the particular school. My tuition wasn't necessarily going to the music school!

After I finished grad school, I became overwhelmed when I realized I was going to have to start paying back my loans. I met my husband in my first year of grad school and wanted to get married and have a nice wedding, but that was not be possible. I called 'Graduate Leverage' a company which helps people manage their student loans and debt for a small fee of $200 a year. They also do my taxes. They are the only reason I became informed and began to understand just how desperate of a situation I had gotten myself into. Thanks to them, I was able to put some of my loans into forbearance. I only pay the ones with the highest interest, which is still not a great deal but it helps, especially since I just moved to a new country and am a newlywed.

CCJ: You are living in Ireland, and it sounds like things are going really well for you. I think that your background in music is incredibly valuable, and it's a shame that you are not pursuing a career in the U.S. Do you think you are an example of 'brain drain?' Why or why not?

DM: In some ways I do believe my story is an example of 'brain drain.' While there seems to be no shortage of voice teachers in the US, there is a shortage of people who actually know what they are talking about. I am definitely a rare commodity in Ireland. There is nobody with a master's in vocal performance here. This area of Ireland suffers from its very own type of 'brain drain' as there is very little in employment opportunities. I was unable to pursue a career in the US because again, I was poorly educated. Nobody ever said to me that I was going to have to move to New York in order to pursue my opera career. Lord knows, I would have ended up completely broke there. Teaching in DC, I found that my craft was not as well respected. People didn't want their children to learn to sing Ariettas; they wanted them to sing like Hannah Montana. Nobody was interested in really learning to sing, they just wanted me to do some glorified babysitting. At some point I just said, let's get out of here! My husband is from Ireland, so I'm lucky that I had the option to be in another country that actually respects my craft and enjoys my talent. The plus side, the exchange rate is great right now because America is doing so badly. 

CCJ: Well, I completely understand. While I have full intentions of returning to the U.S. soon (I'd really like to join the new Consumer Rights Protection Agency), I do not regret leaving the U.S. It's a painful experience, but, like you, I decided to go for it. It's a type of self-imposed exile. Koreans wanted to pay me well because of the degrees I had obtained, so here I am. 

DM: Understood. I have also heard that Australia is looking for all kinds of workers! 

CCJ: Well, I'm glad you mentioned that. Perhaps some of our fellow indentured educated citizens should explore options beyond the borders of the U.S. I encourage that as a matter of fact. It's hard to leave your country, and I've become so much more appreciative of a lot of things there. However, if I'm not wanted, and all the skills and talent I possess are ignored, then why stay? Why be forgotten? I refuse to become part of a lost generation, and all because a bunch of fat cats on Wall Street decided to destroy the economy, and then weren't made to pay a price. That's why I say: shame on the U.S. for allowing the disintegration of the most vital and robust middle class ever. It's disgusting. 

Returning to the indentured educated class and this movement, why do you play an active role in this movement dedicated to raising awareness about the indentured educated class? 

DM:  Because it's a real problem. It's bad when one-fourth of my income goes directly to my loans. I can barely get ahead! In Ireland, you have to make a certain amount of money a year before they will take any of the money back for your loans. The European countries seem to invest in their people more. Why can't America do that?

   

 I feel that a lot of people were duped into believing that they would never be able to make a living unless they went to college and in some ways I can see that being true, but we all had to pay in order to keep up with the way things were changing and it has made us all worse off in some ways. We are all more intelligent and knowledgeable in our fields but unable to gain anything from this expertise. I don't mind paying for an education, but I think $100,000 for a bachelor's and master's in music is a little steep. By all means, I should have looked for other schools but I had my reasons for staying at Catholic.

It is also not cool that you can go out and blow up credit cards and buy loads of 'stuff,' [and write those things off when you declare bankruptcy], but you can't write off your student loans? I think that is ludicrous! Americans need to be more informed in general.

CCJ: I understand you are expecting. Congratulations! If you were to return to the U.S., say eighteen years from now, and things hadn't changed much when it comes to the way in which higher education is funded what would you say to your child if they came to you and told you they'd been accepted into, say, an Ivy League or something akin to an Ivy League, but had to take out huge loans to pursue that degree? Are degrees related to the arts still worth pursuing in the U.S. at this point?

DM:  I was expecting . . . unfortunately, I had a miscarriage in May (I was 7 weeks along). It was probably the most heartbreaking thing I have ever lived through. It made me realize that no matter what financial situation I am in, children matter more to me than some crazy debt I have back in the states. Ireland won't let my children go without. If I should struggle, this country won't let us starve. I am comfortable knowing that. Plus, we won't ever be made to feel bad about it. I know in the states people on welfare are looked down upon, but over here it's almost a way of life for people who are unable to find employment.

But to answer your question, my husband and I talked about this a lot. I believe my children would have better education on this side of the world, especially in primary and secondary school. America does have some fantastic universities, but I would say if my kid got into an Ivy League school in the states, why couldn't they get into a great school in Europe? I think if they did and they really wanted to go, we would still find a way but I would certainly warn them of the consequences. It also depends on what they would be pursuing. If it was something that guaranteed a monetary return, I would say go. Or if I knew my children were driven, I would let them. If they are like me, they will be fine. I think I would tell them what I know and leave it to them. I just pray that it isn't like it is now by the time my children would be looking into college. 

Degrees in the arts are certainly still worth pursuing. We have some of the best teachers from all over the world in the US. But I would recommend doing a lot of research before going to the school of your choice. Don't go to a school because its name. 

CCJ: That's a good point. That's exactly what Claudia Dreifus and Andrew Hacker discuss in their book. They are quite critical, for instance, of NYU for undergraduates. 

DM: If you go to Julliard, for instance, you may never get to perform. I feel horrible for singers who went to my school who never got roles, specifically because it's a good indication of how their lives will be after they graduate. If you weren't good enough in Uni, why would you be in the real world? Well, unless they go through some huge transformation, which does happen from time to time. I think in general, even I had no clue what life would be like as a performer, which is why I am now teaching and performing. The full-time performance life is just not worth it to me as I want a family. But that is the great thing about the performing arts; at least you can teach if performing doesn't go at first. You have options. At least in the arts you can usually reap what you sow. Hard work and dedication usually equal success to some degree.

So, there you have it. A woman who obtained two degrees in vocal performance values her education. Clearly, it's a struggle for her, but she's finding a way to make it work. Now we must insist the system be reformed so that young, aspiring women (and men) don't have to pay such a huge price for the degrees they receive in the U.S. 

We're losing so much more than the just their talent when they leave the country. Barbara Ehrenreich put it well on the night before I left D.C. She invited my husband and me out for another dinner, and this time at Jaleo in Crystal City. It was there that we once again discussed my work on the student lending crisis. She told me that this issue clearly shows that there are student loan refugees, and she encouraged me to write about them. We were speaking specifically about the ones in Sout Korea, but I think it's clear that Diana fits into this category, too. It's time we helped student loan debt refugees and helped the rest of the indentured educated class in the US. 

YouTube Updates And The Peeing Pup Stanley

[Note: If you have not donated yet to the "Enough is Enough" campaign, please chip in $5-$10 today! I have sent off my forms to create a bank account for Education Matters. Once that is in place, I will be filling out the forms to turn us into a 501(c)(4)].

My apologies for the low-quality production of these two YouTube clips below. Nevertheless, I think these short clips provide you a good and brief update on what is going on and how I continue to fight on behalf of the indentured educated class. If Stanley, my pup, hadn't "decided" to have an accident an inch away from me, there would be just one video. Since most of you are dying to see an updated picture of the pooch, he's included too. Thanks so much for your support! The indentured educated class are greatly appreciative.

Please spread the word about the movement, and help out in any way you can.

Part I: Update from South Korea (Sept. 13, 2010)

Part II: After The Dog Peed

 

Stanley, the peeing pup

 

 

Conversations That Matter: Claudia Dreifus Talks About Why Colleges Are Failing U.S. Students

[Note: If you have not donated yet to the "Enough is Enough" campaign, please chip in $5-$10 today! I have sent off my forms to create a bank account for Education Matters. Once that is in place, I will be filling out the forms to turn us into a 501(c)(4)].

Recently I spoke to author Claudia Dreifus about her new book. Here's what we discussed by phone (she's sympathetic to our cause, has Education Matters listed on her website, and so I urge you to buy this timely book):

CCJ: Claudia, thanks so much for agreeing to speak to me about your recent book, Higher Education? How Colleges Are Wasting Our Money And Failing Our Kids - And What We Can Do About It. I know that you and your domestic partner Andrew Hacker put a lot of hard work into this book. How are people reacting to it? 

CD: The book is getting fantastic reviews—the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, USA Today, Bloomberg Business News, the Daily Beast, Worth, Kirkus, Library Journal, and more. But in certain circles, it is the most misunderstood book. So it's being well-received. But also misunderstood. But that's because we're attacking interests.

Interestingly, it was being attacked by one of the unions in this area. This book is pro-public higher education, pro-access for everyone, and yet we've been accused of being reactionary and anti-intellectual. It's odd, because it's the only book that is calling for unionization of adjuncts and graduate students.  I think it’s because we’re coming out against a culture of the professoriate, which we see as part of the problem, along with administrative growth and glut.

CCJ: I see. I read that Andrew stepped down from his full-time teaching position at Queens College, correct? Having been in academia myself and witnessing an alarming trend of professors who refuse to retire, even though there are so many people who are able to take their positions as freshly-minted PhDs, it's something I've discussed with fellow graduate students and recent faculty hires at the schools I attended. Tell us a little bit about Andrew's decision to retire. 

CD: Why should he hold a slot, when retirement with a TIAA-CREF pension wouldn't be much of a difference when it comes to his income? Andrew feels that more people should be doing this . . . in a lot of the state schools, the pensions are great. Now, I am against mandatory retirement, because of age discrimination, but because of tenure, this is different.  In the academy, no one with tenure need ever retire.  And a lot of people who may not even been all that productive when they were younger simply don’t.  Andrew now teaches as an adjunct—as I do.  It’s his 111th consecutive semester. Queens College is going to do a big “Andrew Hacker Day” next month to honor him.  We’re thrilled.
 

CCJ: I see. Tell us a little about yourself and your background.

CD: I come from the world of journalism which is very practical. But for both of us, who have been in academia for a long time, we've seen it change. The things that we valued in it have been devalued. We've been attacked for the belief that students should come first. Research, sports,  administrative stuff, all those bells and whistles that they’re adding onto the campus and which ends up in inflated tuition bills, all of that needs to be justified. The one thing that needs NEVER to be justified is money that goes for actually teaching young people. And that is the issue you're dealing with. I think it's very central to what's gone wrong. Most of this money has not gone into teaching. You, Cryn, are aware of the student loan situation, and I think the assumption that administrators have had for too long was  this: people could always afford these loans. I went to school in the '60s, and went to a private university (NYU), but at that time you could afford it. Expensive as it was, it wasn’t that sort of chunk out of a family’s income. And you didn't have to take out loans. 

Most of the people whom I went to HS with attended college for free - at what was then New York City’s public universities, which were very good. It was cheaper, but often just as good as any private place. As a result of this unshackled early life, my generation had a very different outlook on our lives. It's a great thing being 22 and being debt free. I mean . . . I feel terrible, you know, because a lot of young people at Columbia have asked me advice about going into the field of journalism. It's a tough field, but it's still something people want to do. Recently a woman who just completed a graduate degree in public health came to me with this question, but you know it's a terrible time to be leaving a graduate program in anything, since there are no jobs. Recently a woman who just completed a graduate degree in public health came to me with this question, but you know it's a terrible time to be leaving a graduate program in anything, since there are no jobs. She was asking me about the idea of going to journalism school. . . . 'you might as well—the job market is terrible,' I said to her, to which she replied, 'I already got 100k in debt.' She was near tears when she told me this. You see, her life choices are limited. When I was her age I had the freedom to live poor, and only do things I wanted to do. That allowed me to develop a career based on expressing myself and only taking work I felt morally comfortable with.
 

CCJ: I am afraid that is no longer an option, is it? The system, in my view, has been rigged in such a way that makes it impossible to pursue higher education and then pursue a type of career that allows you to flourish professionally. You trap these people by so much debt. It's degrading.

CD: I feel really bad for my students and Andrew's students. when I meet young students from Cooper Union with no debt, for instance, they are so much different than with those who do have debt.  The world is open to them.

CCJ: What are some of the schools that you thing are the worst and yet perceived by the public to be the best?
 

CD: We think the Arts and Sciences school in NYU is, well . . . everything is wrong with it. Huge over-crowded classes, science courses taught by indifferent professors and inexperienced graduate students and sometimes even college juniors.  Jam-packed facilities. It's so overrated. People are willing to pay for it, however, because they have a publicity machine that any major corporation would envy.  It’s one of the most expensive schools in the country, with one of the highest student loan rates. In my opinion they are not very invested in their undergraduates.  Now, the graduate schools they are good, and of course the Film School is fabulous. 

CCJ: Why do you think people are so intent on taking out loans and going to schools like NYU. Why can't people just say: 'the hell with an education. I'll be fine with my H.S. diploma in this market?' I have my own theories about how to answer that question, but I'd like to hear your take.

CD: Of course. The colleges and the universities have a lock on who will be middle-class and who won’t.  You can’t really be deemed middle-class without a bachelor’s, though there are some amazing exceptions to that rule like Bill Gates and some very affluent plumbers.

But the other thing you point out - I know - is that we all respect education so much that we don’t question what’s going on there enough. It's a quadrant of society that’s off our map until we get the tuition bills.  It used to be the same way when it came to medical care. But after 40 years of consumer action in health care, people do question their medical bills and their doctor's decisions much more. Even most private colleges are tax-deductible charitable institutions so they receive lots of public largesse.  That should be a wedge for the citizenry to question what goes on behind closed doors of the university. Instead, over the years, what goes on has become more and more invisible. How can Harvard lose perhaps a third of its endowment and even people at Harvard can’t quite figure out how it happened? The system needs a lot more transparency and consumers, yes, I use that word, need to act with a lot more interest in what will be the second largest purchase of their lives.

CCJ: Why now? Why did you write this book now?

CD: It's been germinating for a while. I happen to like where I teach right now. I’ve been treated quite well at Columbia and I probably do better than 98% of the adjuncts working in this country, though that’s just a guess. But in the 1990s, I did teach at New York  City College, in the Graduate English Department.  This was at time when the school was in grave crisis, attacked from all sides.  To be honest, I often saw things that made me think that some of the faculty there wasn’t  worthy of the students. The school was being demonized and in an attempt to de-fund public institutions. And the faculty, would say, 'ah . . . it's not MY City College anymore.' They were so indifferent in what their students were going through, and I thought these students were remarkably bright. At times they didn't have the greatest language skills, but some of them were really brilliant storytellers.  I was teaching writing non-fiction literature at the time.  Some of the faculty felt no connection, sadly, to these marvelous children of immigrants, these New Americans, the working class students, the blacks, the Hispanics. They were sleep walking through their jobs, biding their time till retirement and doing the minimum. One professor kept lecturing about the wonderful times he had as a student at Harvard—something of zero interest to our kids. And I found them wonderful and interesting.  As you can imagine, I didn’t last all that long in that environment.  Nor did my friend Barbara Probst Solomon, who recently won the King Carlos Prize, which is like the Nobel Prize of Spain.  They kind of booted her out too.  Being proactive really bothered the faculty there, being in the world.  As one of my students said to me, ' yeah get rid of the one who publishes.' So I saw a lot of things there that troubled me, and Andrew who had taught his 111th consecutive semester, he saw dramatic changes from the time he started teaching in the 1950s, too.  He began at Cornell and then left for Queens College, which is also part of the CUNY system. 

At both schools, it used to be that everybody taught the undergrads, and it bothered us that that was changing. We talked about it all the time and what we were seeing . . . the story we have in the book  about somebody who came to one of the city colleges for a job and, in essence asked, 'How much will I have to do this thing you’re hiring me for,' was something he witnessed. We kept assembling stories, not knowing where it was going, but we're both journalists. Oh, and we went to parties, and I remember going to a party that Tina Brown gave for one of Andrew’s ex-students and there was a man there who’d just started teaching at Brooklyn College. I asked him how his students were, and his answer was something like, 'they’re not really up to my level.' I thought, 'how awful. This guy should be fired.' That started getting me thinking, what kind of profession whose members blame the people they are supposed to be helping—it’s as if patients exist for the doctor’s pleasure and needs. ‘My patients are not up to my level.’ That was part of the beginning. Then we started looking into the economics.  Let me say we could have done three books because this is a very unexamined part of our society.

CCJ: I absolutely agree about the economic side of it. That's why I'm fighting to change the way in which higher education is financed!

CD. It's interesting. As I said, we've been accused of fueling a right-wing argument.  Anyone who says that anything is wrong on campus is a right-winger and an anti-intellectual. I don’t think this is a left/right issue. This is a right-wrong issue. But this is what I say to my brother and sister professors: there is a problem here, if you don't address it yourself, you will lose the ability to deal with it yourself. And the idea that people will always pay these insanely inflated and wasteful fees, is nonsense.

But the idea has always been, students will pay . . . no matter what. But the universities are actually causing a social problem, rather than solving some; if hundreds of thousands of young Americans are indebting themselves to a crippling degree, we have a moral and policy problem.

CCJ: That's why I am raising money to get people thinking about the insanity of paying for these types of degrees. So far I've raised $1000 to put an ad up on Yahoo! warning people about the situation. But could you elaborate more on this idea of faculty being at fault?

CD: When it comes to fees, it’s the administrators who set them. But the professoriate, at least the senior professoriate hasn’t stopped this. And they do have shared governance so they did have the mechanism in some situations to have an impact.   In a sense, they’re bad cops  . . . if you have bad cops who can't keep every day moral standards in order, soon you have a corrupt culture.

For instance, the universities are creating far too many PhDs. And for graduate students, it’s not just the ten years of study that is at stake for them, but 10 years of an emotional investment. Why are they creating probably 60% more doctorates than there are jobs for them?  Why are graduate schools expanding and why are ordinary colleges upgrading and building more graduate schools? Well, it's a very complicated system—based on growth.  Everyone in the academy wants to do more, get bigger, grow.  That’s how an administrator makes a reputation. And then, a department chair gets money from grants, and professors get brownie points for their graduate students. In the end, a graduate student should only do that for intellectual value studying because the odds are that he or she may well end up adjuncting.

Even worse, all kinds of graduate schools keep popping up - it's this unheard of expansionism, and nobody asks if it's really needed. There is almost no need for many of these new graduate schools, I mean, maybe in a few areas, it is worthwhile, but there’s tremendous duplication, faddishness, and prestige seeking.  The problem is no university makes a reputation for itself by refusing to expand.
 

CCJ: There is therefore this problem relating to regulation. As you and I both know, higher education has never been regulated like other industries. I mean that in all sense of the term. What are your thoughts on that?

CD: Well, I mention no regulations precisely because there are a lot of problems with non-profits and charitable institutions. You see, they've been exempt from many of the laws that almost all other businesses had to abide by . . .They don’t have that many people looking over the shoulders and examining their decisions.  Even the companies on the stock market have to report to the SEC, malfunctioning as that’s been.  When someone in the university creates a disaster, there’s little accountability.  Often these mistakes are made up by tuition and the feeling with So, you ask about regulation? Well, it is hugely complex. The fact is they are not subject to the same rules, and that's part of the problem. For instance, when they make disastrous decisions when it comes to their own financing, who is held accountable?  Who’s paying for the mistakes that Harvard made with its endowment?
 

CCJ: There is therefore this problem relating to regulation. As you and I both know, higher education has never been regulated like other industries. I mean that in all sense of the term. What are your thoughts on that?

CD: Well, I mention no regulations precisely because there are a lot of problems with non-profits and charitable institutions. You see, they've been exempt from many of the laws that almost all other businesses had to abide by . . . They don’t have that many people looking over the shoulders and examining their decisions.  Even the companies on the stock market have to report to the SEC, malfunctioning as that’s been. When someone in the university creates a disaster, there’s little accountability. Often these mistakes are made up by tuition and the feeling with So, you ask about regulation? Well, it is hugely complex. The fact is they are not subject to the same rules, and that's part of the problem. For instance, when they make disastrous decisions when it comes to their own financing, who is held accountable?  Who’s paying for the mistakes that Harvard made with its endowment? 

CCJ: Oh, yes. I am all too familiar, as I had been an exchange scholar there while I was working on my PhD (which I did not complete) at Brown. Plus, I have friends who are working on their PhDs there and a few friends who teach there now, too.

CD: Well, yes, then you know that they lost a huge amount of their endowment because of speculation. There was not enough transparency. We're talking about huge catastrophic mistakes in terms of investments errors, and yet  no one is really held accountable for it. And while many who go to Harvard can afford their tuition fees and some would gladly pay double just to be there, Harvard leads the system.  So when fees go up at Harvard, they have a ripple effect over the entire system.  The inflationary effect is disastrous . . . at institutions where the students can’t afford me, the cost of tuition goes up too.

CCJ: So, is it all doom and gloom, Claudia? Are there places you applaud in the book?

CD: Oh, yes. Public universities do educate at a much more efficient rate per dollar, per student and with much less bells and whistles and much more basics. In the book we show how it is possible to go to school and do 4 years at a cheaper rate, and in some cases at a third of the cost.  To do that, you must be willing to forgo prestige. But in the long run, what’s that gonna buy you anyway? You do not need to go to an Ivy.
 

CCJ: Thanks so much, Claudia. I look forward to receiving a copy of your book!

CD: My pleasure, Cryn.

The "Enough is Enough" Campaign - Going Strong

I just wanted to provide all of you with a quick announcement about the amount of money we've raised so far. We are just shy of hitting the $1000 mark, and I'm ecstatic. In addition, I am applying for a grant. I already have a number of people who have expertise in this area and have offered to help, so let's thank all the volunteers who continue to fight for the indentured educated class.

My goal is to make it to $1000 by next Wednesday, and I'm confident we can do it. We only need another $71 and we're there.

It's easy to get involved, just donate. Click on the donate button on Education Matters (upper right hand-side).

How debt destroys relationships: A direct response to a reader who said: "I don't get the point of your blog"

[Note: If you have not donated yet to the "Enough is Enough" campaign, please chip in $5-$10 today! I have sent off my forms to create a bank account for Education Matters. Once that is in place, I will be filling out the forms to turn us into a 501(c)(4)]. 

To the seemingly clueless reader:

First off, read the pieces on Education Matters, especially the testimonials from people who are drowning in student loan debt, and then answer the question: "why does this blog matter?" I mean, if you haven't gotten it yet, then I guess a whole bunch o' people in D.C. and elsewhere are discussing this for no reason. If you still haven't gotten it after reading these pieces and all of my analysis about the student lending crisis, then I'd suggest your a lost case, kiddo.

Here's another reason, too: debt destroys relationships - let's hear it for the blogger over at 'But I Did Everything Right!' I know, we're just as shocked. Yeah. Real shocking. Hmph.

Also, Debra Wiley at the Department of Education wouldn't have bothered reaching out to me if the content on this blog didn't matter. 

Would you really like additional evidence? Gladly. I'm fired up and ready to go, so just let me know!

Curious Denial: Michel Martin, The Disappointing Interviewer

Michel Martin from Tell Me More interviewed me at 2 AM my time yesterday. I was not alone. The Founder of Student Loan Justice was also a part of this so-called conversation on student loan debt. While I had no illusions about the nature of this talk, I was aghast at Ms. Martin's tone - to say it was disdainful is putting it lightly.

I received 3 questions about 20 minutes before the talk. They seemed like fair enough questions, and I took the time to respond to them with 3-4 key points. Then the call took place. Here were the three questions that I was more than prepared to answer:

1. What are the changes that came with the health care bill?

2. Why is this a widespread problem as opposed to just a blip with the bad economy?

3. What is realistic to do? Congress is going to take years to fix the problem... What can parents and students do today?

Those were not the questions asked, and I'm not sure why. I'd like to know who she thinks is an expert, and if she was a nasty with Mr. Kantrowitz as she was with the two of us. 

First, she lit into Mr. Collinge about being in default, and then she demanded that I tell her the exact amount of money I owed on my student loans. I let her know that I wasn't entirely sure, but also made it clear that I'd received some scholarships for the degrees I've pursued (Ms. Martin and I, as it turns out, both attended the same school). She then shot back, "well, what's the status of your loans?" Wow. Aggressive. Fine. She's a radio personality, and that's understandable, I thought. I said, "sorry, do you mean am I in default?"

"Well, yes!" she exclaimed.
 
I replied, "I've never been in default, and I pay my loans on a regular basis."

Ms. Martin seemed satisfied with that answer, but then she began to delve further into this idea of personal responsibility. Mr. Collinge and I had similar answers. Sadly, she had little interest in talking to us about the people for whom we advocate, and that is precisely why I thought I'd been asked to be a part of her show.

I thought we were both invited onto her show to discuss the actual systemic problems relating to the student lending crisis. It was shocking to be grilled in this manner, and she did the same to the other guest. Oh, well, I guess I'm prepared to be interviewed next by Fox News. Who knows? Perhaps Ms. Martin works for them, and I was mistaken by thinking she cares about social issues and is employed by the so-called liberal radio station NPR. 

What's the most tragic? She is doing a disservice to millions of people who are drowning in debt. Shame on you, Ms. Martin. "If nothing is assumed," Ms. Martin, you sure sounded presumptuous as ever.


Next up, why Michelle Singletary at the Washington Post is lame and doesn't have a clue . . .

A Shout Out From The Indentured Educated Class To President Obama

[Note: If you have not donated yet to the "Enough is Enough" campaign, please chip in $5-$10 today! I have sent off my forms to create a bank account for Education Matters. Once that is in place, I will be filling out the forms to turn us into a 501(c)(4)].

Dylan Isbell Original

A reader and good friend of mine, Peter Duffy, sent me this shout out to President Obama recently. It was in response to his recent request for support and money. The amazing Peter Duffy, who interviewed and filmed me, along with Dustin Slaughter and Brandon Watts, on the night before I left L.A., shouted passionately: 

You really want some money? I'm going to give it to you later this week. However, the least you could do is some SERIOUS power moves up there at the top. Such as, some relief for the "buying power of the country", i.e., THE INDENTURED EDUCATED CLASS, who are paying for exorbitant student loans and are SO LOCKED UP financially, that we can't purchase homes and vehicles to get the economy going again. Also a total REVAMP of the financial system is needed. For example, the big banks at the top borrow from OUR federal reserve, lose it all on terrible bets (betting against themselves in some cases, crazy I know right?), and yet we loan them the money to bail them out. They slurp up on the money from the system, and AGAIN all within  a 2-year period of time. So in essence, they lost our money, we paid them back with our money and they have all the money again, and somehow we have none. Are you serious? Power moves. I love you, Obama, but where are the balls you had during your election process? The only reason the American people are not at the Capitol with pitchforks is because we are so distracted with trying to feed our families. I'm optimistic, but we have a long dark age ahead, I believe. 


Sincerely, 


Peter Duffy

Word, Peter. 'Nuff said!

If you're looking for talented artists/photographers/filmmakers, please check out the hyperlinks I listed above! 

Part I: Who I am, why education matters, and - most importantly - why I am an advocate for student loan debtors . . .

[Note: If you have not donated yet to the "Enough is Enough" campaign, please chip in $5-$10 today! I have sent off my forms to create a bank account for Education Matters. Once that is in place, I will be filling out the forms to turn us into a 501(c)(4)].  

 I care deeply about higher education and believe all Americans have a right to access various institutions that are dedicated to teaching them how to think critically about the world around them. I have spent most of my adult life in the realm of academia, and have a deep love for knowledge - history, literature, and philosophy are the three categories that matter the most to me.

My first step toward entering the world of higher education began in a humble way. Like many fellow Americans, I began pursuing my first degree at Johnson County Community College in Overland Park, Kansas. I hated high school. In fact I despised it and was intent on graduating early. That's exactly what I did. Also, I longed to be in college, so I got out of high school a semester early and began taking courses at JCCC (or " the J-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C!," as my friend used to jokingly call it).

Although I did quite well in most of my first college classes, this first step was not easy. I will, however, never forget one particular English teacher who was hard on me. But thanks to him, my writing improved dramatically. After that brief time at JCCC, I entered college at the University of Kansas. Like most state schools, KU is very large. It is easy as a freshman to get lost there. One thing is certain: if you wish to obtain a good education at a place like KU, you are responsible for finding it on your own, and that is what I did. Of course I can't take all the credit. I had a lovely best friend at the time (she was pursuing a degree in Latin American Studies) who helped guide me through the seemingly labyrinthine schedules and actual physical campus. In addition, my older sibling introduced me to a professor of intellectual history (he's really a philosopher if you ask me, but I digress). What matters about this particular professor is that he would change the course of my life forever, and not just in a professional way. He would affect it in the best of possible ways, which would entail a long-term relationship that to this day I still treasure more than anything else.

On the intellectual side of things, this professor changed my outlook on how I thought about ethics, about those who lived before me (centuries and centuries ago), and why those previous lives matter to the way in which we conduct ourselves today. Even more important, this professor taught me how to truly read. He taught me why you must return to books over and over and over again. He taught me the value of digesting texts slowly and also about the importance of rejecting God. Just who was this professor? He was a man who came from old money from the East Coast. At the tender age of 16, he was already taking classes at Harvard (more on that later). But to him, the University of Chicago was the real deal.

Shortly after working with this professor for years, I left for Munich, Germany. My education continued on my own and in another language. It was there that I studied German, and it was intense - 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. It was a total immersion program. Moreover, it wasn't just an immersion into that language, but into an entire world or worlds for that matter. With a degree in history, I had a deep appreciation for all the things I was able to see and do in Europe. It was yet another level of education that has formed my intellectual and personal identity. Although I had valued politics, and especially works by Noam Chomsky and Marx, at that juncture I had deviated from the moral lessons that these thinkers had inspired in me a few years prior to departing for Germany. At this point, I was intent on deepening my love and understanding of the Ancient World and that of the High Middle Ages. As an atheist at this time, I was determined to try and appreciate the Ancients in a way that was devoid of Christian interpretations of them. I realize that sounds quite highfalutin and silly, but I was young and still quite naive about these things. Nevertheless, the opportunity to study and live in Germany proved to be indispensable to my learning and intellectual growth. At this time, several critical and life changing things happened: I became engaged, and I was accepted into several top notch programs in the United States. One such school was the University of Chicago. 

Oh, yes, the University of Chicago: "where fun comes to die." No kidding. That year proved to be enormously hard. Throughout that entire year in a grueling quarter system I proclaimed on countless occasions that I would never pursue another degree. (I was accepted into their master's program in the Social Sciences with a small scholarship, but I had applied to their Ph.D. program in History). But it was during this time that I learned to appreciate an academic community. Although I thought I was absolutely miserable, I have since realized that I was learning to think more critically about texts and researching things about the past. By extension, this allowed me to consider how to think thoughtfully about the actual world around me. After writing a master's thesis on laughter and carnival in the late Middle Ages, I finally graduated on a chilly June day. It was then, while gazing at the freshly minted Ph.D. students, in their cap and gowns, that I decided I wanted to continue with more formal education. Shortly after graduating, I returned to Kansas and got married. God was still dead, and yet my childhood pastor agreed to marry me anyway. God Bless that man . . .

During this time I worked as a waitress at a French Bistro, in a Title Company (that was around the time of the mortgage boom, and I remember thinking that the number of people refinancing their homes was frightening), and also at a library. So you see, I couldn't get away from academia. That is when I enrolled at KU again - as a non-degree seeking undergraduate - and took more language classes. This time it was Italian. (I also studied Spanish at KU when I was done with my language requirement, which was, naturally, German). I needed to get back into school again, and this time I was determined to obtain a Ph.D. God was still dead.

So I applied to more schools all over again, and also went on an amazing whirlwind tour of all the Ivy League Schools, or at least the big ones. It was a good excuse for a fun vacation, and fun it was . . .
At the same time I put together an academic paper that was accepted at a conference in Athens, Greece. God was still dead upon my arrival at the Acropolis.

Shortly after I delivered my paper in Greece, the History Department at Brown University accepted me as a Ph.D. candidate. That's how I ended up living on rat-infested Europe Street in Providence, RI. This street was nothing like its name. That first year as a Ph.D. student was miserable. It wasn't the work that made it hard (like U. of Chicago), but rather the living environment. I also experienced major culture shock in New England. Seriously, I couldn't believe at times that it was part of the U.S. For the first year I was embittered by my surroundings, and despised that city. The schooling? It was great, but the town, in my view, was a dump. I'd written it off, and God was still dead.

After one year at Brown I obtained my second master's degree. At the same time, I also received a decent grant from the American Historical Association. Things were going pretty well at this point. I was heading to Harvard University that coming fall to be an exchange scholar. There I would end up working with a highly reputable historian in the field of German Intellectual History. This second year at Harvard and then at Brown were critical, too. They made me realize what I really cared about: teaching. Sure, the research was great, and I still love that aspect of my life as an advocate for student debtors (after all, I was trained to be a researcher). However, teaching college-aged students was an honor and a privilege, and that made me begin to question my pursuit of a Ph.D. God was still dead, but teaching enlivened my spirits.

There was also another event during the second summer at Brown that would change the course of my life forever, and thankfully that is when God reintroduced himself to me. Besides, I was beginning to reconsider this whole idea that he was dead. At the same time, I was preparing to take my field examinations to become a dissertator, and was working on a fantastic and interesting project related to a 19th-century German magazine vis-a-vis humor and laughter (those were my themes - laughter and humor - in grad school, and to this day I think I should have just tried to become a stand-up comedienne or something, but I digress again). I had already written my dissertation prospectus, too - I was, of course, working on humor under the Nazis, and had already established faculty members who would be on my dissertation board (that included the professor from Harvard). So things were looking up, and that is when personal tragedy always hits. Indeed, it did, and I lost someone very close to me. This death made me reevaluate the trajectory of my career in academia. That is when I decided to take a leave of absence and headed to a world far removed from the Ivy Tower ("toodle-doo, Brown" I cried) - I went to work in the world of retail, and I don't regret doing that for one second. It was the best thing that could have happened to me. It was at this time that I fell in love with New England and became a catechumen in a small Franciscan parish in Providence, RI. That is where I found home, humility, and hope. And it is where I desperately wish to return. But that remains to be seen, as I write this thousands and thousands and thousands of miles away from New England. I was also reintroduced to themes I'd been interested in as an undergraduate. The most important one being social justice. The Franciscans at this parish are open to all. When they say: "all are welcome," they mean it. They made reconnect to a humble dignity that I continually try to grasp onto . . . some days it seems beyond my reach, but I am human.

So God was no longer dead, and I realized some important things about poverty and those whose voices are ignored. But my passion to become a Doctor of Philosophy had withered . . .